Happy Father's Day ... or not?

Yesterday - September 3 - was Father's Day.

Now, I reckon that since we're now into the second trimester, you have earnt the right to be referred to as 'a person'. And as such, there must surely be someone somewhere who can be rightfully referred to as your 'father'.

So naturally, it follows that your Mum should've being buying me bottles of port, socks, boxer shorts, etc.

But noooooooo - apparently I have to wait until next year!